I am debating on whether to become an online personal trainer. It would help my husband out a lot on our finances so we won’t be so poor. I have been in love with fitness since 13 years old. It is kind of a dream to run a training business and blog!
But I am terrified of failing… how do I even start? What if I can’t get clients? How do I even start a business in general and pick a name? What if I put us in debt? I feel young and dumb.. but also full of potential. My worst asset is fear. How do I overcome it?
If I trial out a website and programs, will you support me? Will you help me overcome fear?
You thought you knew your future. It was going to be perfect and nothing was going to go wrong. Many events happened and I know you let your faith dissipate in a bright future.
Younger self, though what you expected to happen took a turn for the worst, look at the good things that happened. You met the love of your life you thought you’d never have. He loves you dearly and would die for you! You have a home of your own. Yes, you may have been able to achieve your dream of being a doctor, but, you found love. Many people never find true love. He is super handsome and very strong! He’s so yummy! *wink, wink*
Didn’t think you’d be a stay at home wife? Guess again you are! Due to circumstances you have no choice as of right now. You love making your home comfortable for your husband and making sure he always has a warm meal. Making your husband happy is the most important thing in your life now (though he can be so irritating). You have a home full of loving fur babies now!
Younger self, you were always so depressed and suicidal due to your home life and medical problems. You were also anorexic and then turned bulimic. I want you to know your husband helped you over come those demons. You’re happy that you eat now and you work out to stay healthy. You used to hardly be able to cheat press 10 pounds dumbbells and today you work out with 25-30 pound dumbbells! You turned out so strong! Your are so happy and never stop smiling!
This post is short, I know, but as I write this I’m drinking coffee and pestering your love. Your smiling as you’re watching him play with his fur babies and laugh. Those moments are so sweet. I want you to know that you are loved by me; you never thought that’d be possible but you are! You have an amazing life and there’s always going to be ups and downs. Husband and I will always overcome these situations together! Your husband loves you and cares so much about you. You may not feel blessed as things always seem to go wrong for us, but, we have each other. We have always made it through. We will conquer anything that comes our way.
You turned out so well and in the future I’ll write you more. You are still so young. I’ll keep in touch through the years! Keep your head up. I am so proud of you and your husband! I love you dearly, no matter what.
Have you ever sat there and wondered, if your significant other actually loves you or appreciates you? I was in this spot not too long ago. My fiance and I were having a rough patch as any normal couple does. My fiance was not being the best man anymore, then, of course I would get resentful and frustrated then you know… lash out because I was hurt. So, I wasn’t his lovely lady anymore; I was a grouch. Well, during this most recent rough patch, it was because my fiance ran out of his ADHD medication. His attention span, listening, thought process, and moodiness got out of control. But so, did my emotions and internal dialogue. I was completely hurt because I would ask my fiance to help me, or pick up something, he would say okay and go sit down (I had to do everything little thing which I don’t mind until I get taken for granted). I would be talking to my fiance and he wouldn’t listen, or his video games were more important than bonding with me. Don’t get me wrong though, I play a lot of video games as well but usually with him. This behavior went on for two weeks, lying to me on purchases, overspending, and insults… just overall mistreated to the point I quit wearing my ring then I was about to start packing my bags to leave. I reached out to my mother about the hurt and problems we were facing because she is supportive and dealt with ADHD; I researched blogs and everything I could. One night, I finally broke down, crying and telling my fiance I don’t feel loved by him, and I just laid on the bed in silence. There was hardly kissing, hugging, and hardly the birds and bees anymore, I felt ugly and hated. That moment opened my fianceé’s eyes and he did get a little better, but he could not overcome his ADHD.
I sound kind of selfish or like a bitch, right? A man or woman who has ADHD cannot control the racing thoughts or their attention span. I know this because I suffer from ADD. It is very hard to control. I was trying to understand the best I could because my brother had severe ADHD. I just got so worn down on the hurtful comments and my internal dialogue. I felt like the worst person ever. I felt like I was better off dead and then I wouldn’t hurt anyone. I am not the healthy happy 24-7 smiling girl you think. I have autoimmune diseases, anxiety, depression, and ADD… just to name a few. I struggle with my own battles of fatigue and pain every day, so he wasn’t understanding on my part. But… I wasn’t understanding his tiredness, work stress, and pains from doing laborious work. We all have our bad days.
This is ways to confront him/her and try to find resolutions:
Of course get his ADHD medicine.
I used the almighty “I” statements. “I feel sad when you get mad at me for trying to talk to you.” Or “I feel angry and resentful when I hear you say (insert concern here)”
Sit down with no phones, tv, or distractions and spill out your feelings. Ask him to spill out his in return.
Make a date night whether you go somewhere or stay home.
Make time together without electronics.
Use couples therapy worksheets. Pinterest has tons of amazing worksheets for this!
Remember you are NOT perfect either.
Write each other a letter if it’s too awkward to talk.
DO NOT play the blame game and point fingers.
DO NOT be Mrs./Mr. right all the time.
Think about if you have changed or stopped doing lovely things as well.
I have finally realized after a while I was only looking at the bad or irritating things he started doing. By doing this, I was masking all the positives he had done even if it was something small like washing dishes. I made it a habit to always thank him and at least once a month I tell him I appreciate what he has done- like providing for us. He DESERVES it. But, don’t forget that you deserve praise too! All couples have highs and lows; how you as a couple getting through them set up how your future is like. I still write him love letters to this day to show my appreciation and this helps. I love him very much though sometimes it can be hard not to fantasize him being a “Date Line” case (I’m joking!). Let me know what works for you! Feel free to comment with any questions!
Oh for Bloggers Sake! 